Need some advice here. My DD is 4.5 and DS is 1.5. Since DS was born, DD's behavior has become really bad. She was very attached to DH and coincidentally he had to be away for work/school all of the first year of DS's life(except visiting on weekends) so that affect her health badly as well, even though grandparents were around, I could only focus on DS so she kind of felt less attended to during that time. DH is back but has to travel few days during the week even now..
Anyway coming to the issue, she is in full time preschool and I think used to being entertained, having somebody to play with all day. She is extremely smart/intelligent/very good memory power and plays very well with kids her age...The issue is DS is still little and cant talk well except few words... she loves building, doing puzzles etc and all he wants to do is destroy it.. that frustrates her and she hits him.. There are times when I have to leave the 2 alone in the family room while I am in the kitchen trying to get food ready when DH is not around and she would have hit him in a few mins of playing with each other.. I have told her so many times that she should build/color etc on a table so DS cant reach and at times sit and play some simple games with him.. she just doesn't show any interest in playing anything with him bcoz he cant communicate and doesn't play what she wants him to play,.... She shows her frustration by hitting him.. We have punished her/given her time outs/explained to her that we don't hit but the hitting/hurting him/crying hasn't reduced one bit.. Apart from her behavior with DS, she cries a lot, doesn't listen and in general very mean at times..
But in school it is the opposite behavior, she listens well(less focused but not bad), plays well with her friends and overall great! no complaints
I think there is more to it and I really strongly feel, I should see a behavior therapist and get this all corrected... she cant always be entertained and shows 0 affection to her lil brother.. I had DS mainly for her and feel really bad that they are not attached at all... on the other hand DS waits for her to be back from school and loves playing with her in his own way which she doesn't enjoy much..
BTW I work full time.. not sure if that matters but wanted to say that in this post..
Thanks for reading..